On My Mind.

~I talked to a friend yesterday on the phone. A close friend. I haven't seen her in over five years, and we've never met each other's children. And yet, we're close. We talk like we see each other everyday. Even so, I miss her a lot. I really, really miss her.

~I fought with my 22 month old today trying to get him strapped into his car seat. It was quite the battle. I have to wonder if I'm easier on him than I was with my first, or I just don't want to deal with his outbursts and allow him get away with more. There is no question that he is ruling the roost these days. 

~I am an eating machine. The quantity of food that I am capable of eating while pregnant is amazing to me. I'm filling up on healthy food, but it's still A LOT. I'm on track with weight gain much like the first two. After losing it the first two times after nine months of breastfeeding (I nursed for longer, but that's how it took to get back to pre-pregnancy size), I'm starting to trust that my body knows what it's doing. 

~I don't feel like I am a person who "wants" a lot, but I kinda want a vacation. I would love to see unfrozen water, to have bare legs and the feeling of heat on my shoulders. I try not to think of the many, many months before it will be like that in Minnesota.

~I am in full appreciation of my four year old. Four and a half, really. Apparently the personality of a person "solidifies" between the ages of five and six. If the way he is now is the way he's going to end up, I'm a very blessed mother. Don't get me wrong, it has been work, work, work, and I'm exhausted just thinking about how hard I'll be trying with the other two. I know now that the payoff is worth it, and while I've had days upon days of no sleep, constant discipline, and hours just being "present," I am now humbled daily at the patience, generosity and general sweetness of my son. And to think, I'm on track to have THREE like this. Blessed. Just blessed.