Deactivate.

I did it.

Wow. Can you believe it? I deactivated my facebook account.

Those of you who are my FB friends might be surprised by that, considering that I communicate A LOT on FB. I am so blessed to have beautiful women in my life who are at the same point in their path of marriage and motherhood as I am, and that comradery is priceless. Unfortunately, many of these women live far away from me, most in states that I've never even visited.

This decision, however, has been weighing on me for months. You see, Facebook does not really bless me. It distracts me from the needs of my children, and it is used primarily to fight boredom. For me, Facebook has become a one-way ego buster (buster, not booster, mind you), and leaves me feeling like I'm not doing enough, or that I'm not enough.

I have friends on Facebook that are writing books, starting non-profit organizations, owning their own businesses, see famous people everyday, are earning doctorate degrees, buying beautiful homes, living close to their families, taking their kids to Disney World, or traveling the world.

These things are wonderful, and I'm so happy that these people in my life (more or less) are using their time, treasure and talent to really do what God calls them to do. I've written on this topic before a few years ago when I considered walking away from my FB community, and my reasonings were the same, that I compartmentalized everything everyone else was doing and stacked it up against what I was doing. And, instead of using my gifts and talents in a productive way, I just felt bad about how little I did in comparison of the whole of everyone's accomplishments.

A friend and I were writing recently when I commented how at the end of the day, regardless of any temporal standards, that my life makes me happy. After a difficult day yesterday, I sat in awe as my two boys played with cars at my feet. The time for bed came and went as they played and played and played. When I finally tucked my big boy into bed with an "I love you," he responded, "I love you too, sweet mommy," with a big hug.

Yes, at the end of the day, this is the life. 

And, if I can keep focused on that, my other goals will fall into place, without the pressure to follow the crowd.

I'll probably activate my account again...but only after I write the book ;-)  .