Thursday, February 12, 2009

Turning Tides

Last week was rough. It was exhausting. It was very near awful. 

Luke was naughty, had tantrums multiple times a day, refused to nap, refused to go to bed, and all around did everything we have worked so hard for him NOT to do (hit, kick, bite, yell, scream, escape from his bedroom, you get the idea). 

Late in the week last week during dinner Mark had to take Luke away from the table for some discipline. It was a breaking point for me. As I heard Luke up in his room crying from his punishment, I too started to cry. All the while thinking, "This is SO hard. This is TOO hard. I don't know what to do anymore!" I felt I had used all the tricks in the bag, and had ran out of patience and energy. "Why," I thought, "Why, after being the sweetest most loving boy in the world could he just turn on me like this? What makes a child well-behaved or badly behaved, and what in the world am I doing WRONG?" 

Mark and I had many concerning conversations at all hours of the day last week. One afternoon I called him, too upset and too tired to handle the current revolt. I wanted him to leave work early and come home. I wanted to climb into bed, fall asleep and hand the chaos over to him. I wanted to forget my responsibilities and pretend that my sweet little two year old was as perfect as ever. Of course, none of these were viable options and we had to take everyday, sometimes every hour at a time, hoping to remain consistent and not resent Luke for his lapse in behavior, not knowing how long it would take before he turned around, if ever.

This week the sun came out, literally and figuratively. The snow began to melt, we didn't have to start the car twenty minutes before leaving the house, and warmth returned to our home. After a week of bitter winter, springtime returned to Luke in full force. Exhausted as I am every Monday morning after working late hours, I dreaded what the day had in store for me, hoping and praying that the Lord wouldn't give my fragile state too much to handle after a rough week. Monday turned out to be marvelous, as did Tuesday, Wednesday, and today. Not only would I have great news to report to Mark at the end of the day, at least once a day Luke would call him, telling him about an accomplishment and his good behavior. I have breathed easier this week, enjoyed motherhood thoroughly, and thanked God repeatedly for His intervention in our home. 

When things are going badly it's so easy to get caught up in believing that they will remain that way. In the midst of our bad week I never once thought about the possibility that our circumstances would change. Just the opposite, in fact, thinking that my kid would be the bully on the playground, the juvenile delinquent or the one who runs away from home. It's only after the sun cames out on our situation that I began to realize how lacking I am in faith and how much more reliant I need to be on the One Truth Thing. Who knows what the next week will bring, or the years to come, but life is like the tides, having highs and lows. I may not be prepared for the next low, but I will know that like the winter, it won't last forever.


Sarah said...

Mallory, your words are a welcome inspiration! Thank you for sharing this!

Mallory said...

Thank you, Sarah. That means a lot!