I have reduced happiness for a mother down to three things:
1. The attitude you decide to have
2. How much you care about the appearance or dissarray of your home
3. How much sleep you get
When I say "reduced," I'm just saying that on a day to day, boring old lonely basis, that these three factors affect how you see the world and relate to your children. They make a good day good, or a bad day bad.
This isn't the first time sleep has been an issue in our home. For Luke's first year I didn't sleep. I felt like the living dead. I was so sleep-deprived that I couldn't finish sentences, I would lose my words, and when I tried to rest I couldn't fall asleep. Finally, after thirteen months of trying nearly every strategy, we made Luke cry it out (CIO).
The CIO method is awful, painful, torturous and heartbreaking. With an infant like Luke it was nearly unbearable. A strong-willed little sucker, I kid you not, he would cry for hours at a time, never letting up. After three nights of absolutely no sleep for the entire family and hour after hour of night time crying, Luke finally slept through the night! He was a champion sleeper and napper from that time forward, giving me a three hour nap nearly every day STILL, at over three and half years old!
We just finished our fourth night of making Paul CIO. At nine months, I realize now that we should have done this months ago, but I just wasn't ready to put ourselves through the horror of a relentlessly screaming baby. I have to say though that it wasn't that bad. Paul fatigued after only two hours the first night, an hour and a half the next, and the past two nights his crying has been between 5-10 minutes. I cannot describe the excitement our household (me!!) is experiencing because of the rest we are getting!
It's very easy to judge a mother who lets her baby cry, and before Luke developed all his sleeping problems, I was one of those mothers! After all, they want us, and we know that we can make them stop crying! But there comes a point when the baby can't rule the roost anymore and when as a mother you need to take care of yourself for your own sanity and for the sake of the rest of family who deserves you, too...not just the baby.
I would say that the past two days have been happier than many days in a long time, and we are happy to report that for the first time in nine months, the days have had a definite beginning and end, instead of the constant night waking we were accustomed to.
I feel like I can conquer the world ;) .
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4 comments:
Also - never forget just how important is is for your BABY to get the uninterrupted sleep. We had to do the same thing with Emily around 9-10 months, and though it was torture for us, she is so much better off now. When she stirs in the night, she can usually fall right back asleep instead of relying on mommy or daddy to bounce, sway, rock, and sing to her. It's lovely independence for all! :) You did what was best for BABY and you! Good work, Mama!
Mal, I just love reading your blog! It is so refreshing to hear your perspective. :)
I love your three factors for a mother's happiness. How true that is! Being someone who is blessed to have a baby who is normally only up once a night, your post was a good reminder how thankful I need to be for the amount of sleep I get! :)
I am so happy for you that Paul has transitioned so well with the CIO method. Good job hanging in there with it! Enjoy your new-found uninterrupted sleep!!!
good for you!! this happened naturally with helena and gemma simply b/c we had to care for the issues the others were having in the middle of the night and they just had to learn to wait..and they are the more patient ones out of our 4...
anyway, enjoy the sleep!
maria
Thank you all for the encouragement. Having the baby sleep has been HUGE for me, and in turn for the rest of us. I can't believe how much happier I am now that my nights are controlled a little better.
It's nice not starting out the day exhausted!
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