Monday, May 11, 2009

Heart to Heart

I can't believe that my sweet boy, Paul Joseph, is already six weeks old. The past six weeks have flown by, and yet his birth is still fresh in my head like it was yesterday. All my worries, anxieties and anticipations seem to hold no merit now as we adjust to two boys as if Paul has been here all along. Although his first moments in this world were frightening and chaotic, I nevertheless fell in love with him with the same intensity that I did when I first became a mother.

Now, while life is easier than I ever expected it to be with with two little ones, it isn't a piece of cake, and I find challenges everyday as I try to get things done with altered efficiency and in fragments at a time. Still, I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm overwhelmed at the way my love and happiness grows with every hug, kiss and smile.

One phrase that is commonly heard amongst moms of young children is "You've got your hands full." I've heard this countless times as I'm trying to maneuver through a doorway, talk a two-year old out of a tantrum at the grocery store, or while nursing on a park bench while yelling at Luke to come back after he runs off. Some moms I know get offended and annoyed at this phrase, and I don't blame them, but yet, it's the truth, isn't it? I mean, I do have my hands full. Everyday tasks like calling a repairman, picking up a prescription or grocery shopping turn into an obstacle course when you add children to the mix. Everything takes at least twice as long, and it's definitely twice as hard.

Yes, life is harder and more complicated. Yes, my hands are full. As I hold my my sleeping newborn close and hug my two-year old, not only my hands are full, my arms are full. These boys fill me. They not only fill my arms, they fill my life. Yes, my time is filled with nursing, changing diapers, Thomas the Train and macaroni with hot dogs, but my life is filled with wonder while I watch these boys change and grow, all the while loving them more not because of what they do, but because of who they are.

My hands are full, my arms are full, my life is full. My whole world fits in my arms, and I love it. I never thought it would be so easy.

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