I love family, I love friends, I love kids, and I love everyone together celebrating the feeling of togetherness. But surrounded by the crowds of celebration it can be all too easy to lose yourself.
I haven't always been like this, but I shrivel up and silence as soon as I'm put in a group. It doesn't matter if it's family or friends, but I can't seem to find a voice amidst craziness. It doesn't bother me, it's just a contrast to my usual one-on-one talkative self where there is always an abundance of topics for me to dive into. I sometimes worry about the way my quiet impression comes off. Do they think I'm a snob? Do they think I'm shy? Do they think I'm unhappy? I hope not, no, and yes, I'm very happy. But, for whatever reason a group setting suddenly compels me with absolutely nothing to share.
It's Christmas Eve, it's late, and I'm having some 'quiet time'. Nothing energizes me better than time to collect my thoughts and to enjoy silence or music. I'm the classic introvert.
When Mark and I got engaged, I was extremely happy and so full of excitement. Having a son was the greatest moment of life. During these, and other wonderful times, I have been shocked at my reactions; often quiet, a little pensive, and full of thought. I was initially disturbed by my outward lack of enthusiasm, but I've taken comfort in Mary, the Virgin Mother, that faced with the great birth of our Lord ahead of her, instead of jumping up and down and shrieking, she "treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart" (Luke 2:19)
This Christmas, although I may not be the life of the party, the humorous one, or the hostess with the mostess, I will have treasures dear to my heart, and that's enough for me.
Glory to the Newborn King
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