This morning I woke up tired. I took the easy route and gave Luke too much apple juice because I didn't want to deal with a tantrum. I put the breakfast dishes on the counter and walked away, not wanting to clean dishes. I thought of a thousand excuses why it would be better to stay home all day instead of taking advantage of the car in the garage and go to the gym. I looked at the clock at 9:30 and realized Luke had been watching Playhouse Disney since 7am.
Right now (noon) I filled the dishwasher but left the pans for later. I did go the gym and feel much better for it, and am now showered, dressed and have lunch in the oven. I need to vacuum, clean up the pizza stain on the carpet and fold the clothes in the dryer...I JUST DON'T WANT TO. All I want to do is read New Moon, finish crocheting my baby blanket, watch Pride and Prejudice, and eat everything in sight while I watch the house turn to shambles, the dishes pile up and the laundry gather in heaps on the floor, all while using Mickey Mouse as a babysitter.
I feel awful for feeling unmotivated today (and the past few days), and I feel especially guilty for neglecting the motherly attention that is so important to me. I guess there are days for resting and days for nesting. I just wish that on the resting days I wouldn't feel burdened with all the nesting duties that are being pushed aside because of my lack of enthusiasm for stay-at-homemaking.
...an hour later...
With the little boy napping I'm still looking at the vacuum perched in the corner reminding me of my uncompleted to-do list, but ice cream and my book are going to win this afternoon.
I'll get some work done tomorrow...maybe.
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