Expecting another baby makes me think a lot about what I will do differently than what I did with Luke. Over the next several months I will recap mistakes, misunderstandings, and bad advice that will hopefully impact the first weeks with a newborn in a positive way.
Luke, while a wonderful little boy, was a high needs infant. The night he was born he cried all night with the pattern lasting a whole year. As a new mom, breaks were few and far between with Luke's constant need to nurse and be held. While his highs-needs temperament was, I believe, largely inborn, taking some extreme advice to avoid being a "bad mommy" didn't help. Below is my first installment of "Bad Mommy Myths," strictly my opinion, and definitely learned the hard way.
Bad Mommy Myth #1: Nuks
A few very popular baby experts, along with some advocacy groups (which shall remain nameless) claim that using a pacifier is a "lazy" way to console a baby, since the crying baby wants you, and the pacifier is a distant replacement. Also, these experts claim that using a pacifier will spell breastfeeding failure.
I took this advice seriously, firmly believing that using a nuk would make me a bad mother and make it impossible to nurse. I've since realized that many wonderful mothers use nuks and find them a life-saver. Who knows if a nuk would have helped Luke during those fussy days, but it would have been worth a shot.
Live and Learn.