Back to School, Blog, and Reality Check.

I've taken my summer vacation from blogging. There were countless times rocking the little one to bed when I had paragraphs of prose run through my head with a perfect blogging title. But alas, after playing at playground after playground, and biking and walking and pulling the wagon and pushing the stroller, once the kids were in bed at night I was pretty pooped out.

I still am pretty pooped out. In fact, the excruciatingly humid days of August have given me the itch for long jeans and cotton sleeves, when day turns to night at a reasonable hour and when the nip in the air keeps the kids from storming out of the house every time the door is opened.

My summer vacation from blogging was necessary because I needed to redirect and focus my goals as a person as well as my expectations for our family. It's not so much that it's been a tough road, but more so that my attitude is having a difficult time withstanding the demands of our days.

A few minutes ago I put away the vacuum cleaner after the kids came in from the sandbox. Sand was everywhere, and I dutifully sucked it up before the hour of naptime came. No sooner was the cord unplugged, wrapped, and the vacuum put in the closet did the little one bring the dog food bowl to the carpet and dump the contents on the freshly. vacuumed. floor.

In May I might have laughed about it. Instead, I begrudgingly took the vacuum back out of the closet, wanting to cry but getting angry instead. The incident isolated doesn't seem like a big deal, if only earlier in the morning my four year old, well-potty trained boy hadn't decided that his "pee wanted to pee on the floor" instead of in the toilet. If only I hadn't spent a hour the day before washing the bathroom with a bucket of bleach. If only. If only. If only, then I might have been able to scrape up some patience.

But how much patience, and how much joy is required in the midst of chaos and repeated mini-disasters throughout the day? It does get overwhelming, and it does get discouraging, and while I want so badly to listen to the mothers of old saying over and over again "Just enjoy them instead of worrying about everything else," at some point somebody has to sweat the small stuff before the small stuff becomes big stuff.

This scenario is darn near reality:

"Hi hunny, how was work?"
"Good, but why are you in your pajamas already? It's only 6 o'clock?"
"Good question, dear. You see, I was dressed this morning, but then Little Joe threw his bowl of spaghettios in my lap. I went upstairs to find a new skirt, but alas, they were all dirty!"
"Couldn't you just throw in a load of laundry?"
"Oh hunny, you're funny! It sounds so simple, but just yesterday I went downstairs to the laundry room, the children follow me down there. I caught Little Joe sifting through the cat litter while I was measuring the OxiClean. I grabbed Little Joe and switched the wash to the dryer one-handed. As I was doing all this, Franci-Pantsi had gotten into the Easter eggs in storage next to the laundry room and was begging to bring up the Halloween pumpkin he stores candy in. After a tantrum and much explaining about the seasons, we got upstairs."
"Oh, so you did laundry after all."
"Not exactly. I tried to utilize naptime to dry and fold the clothes, but I didn't get far enough. The children woke up, and I no sooner had the clothes folded on the table when I turned my back to get Franci-Pants some apple juice. Before you know it, Little Joe had thrown all the my clean clothes on the floor in one swoop of his arm, landing in a mess of sand that the kids brought in from the yard."
"I see, dear."
"I work so hard, but I just can't keep up."

These are the reasons, coupled with my bound responsibility to the situation, why I've needed this summer vacation. I can't help but see the beam in my own eye in regards to the children's haphazards and my reaction to it.

Looking at my (under construction) blog header, I have to ask, "What is so encouraging about my blog? Or, at least today's post?" Well, we can't always be full of inspiration and joy all of the time, so during those moments when we're struggling, the most encouraging words we can hear are, "I've been there, I'm there now, I understand and you are not alone."